By BROTI GUPTA ’16
It’s almost the season that brings loved ones closer together: Finals! This late into the semester, you’ve probably run out of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” episodes to watch while not doing your real homework. You may ask desperately, “But what will I watch during the best time to put off work—reading period?!” Well, here are some reality TV shows I’ll be watching over the next few weeks.
We’re all used to the drama and excitement of the shore, but are we ready for what the suburbs have to offer? Suburban Jersey has everything you love about the Jersey Shore—romance, broken friendships, weird hair extensions—AND everything you love about the suburbs—middle aged-ness, fights among elementary school PTA moms and, of course, carpool drama. “Whose turn is it to drive to soccer next week?” “But I brought snacks last Thursday!” See this and more when you tune into “Suburban Jersey.” Available on the Discovery Channel Fridays at 4 a.m., Mountain Time.
“The Average-Sized Loser”
Did you love “The Biggest Loser,” and think to yourself, “I need to make some drastic dietary changes!” only to decide later, “It’s too much work, and who else is going to finish the Ruffles in the pantry?” What if there were a less intense regimen? What if working out just meant walking TO the gym? Contestants compete half-heartedly for a common goal: sort of being a little bit healthier than last week. “The Average-Sized Loser” is admittedly less inspiring and generally more apathetic, but whatever.
“Presidential Election Idol”
Remember the excitement of the 2012 election? How much better would the experience have been if Ryan Seacrest had broken the news “after this commercial break?” “Presidential Election Idol” is the competition you’ve been waiting for. Judges include internationally acclaimed judgmental Englishman Simon Cowell, token politician with some free time Condoleeza Rice and youth voter Kermit the Frog. Each week, contestants are assigned the tasks of proving they’re not Kenyan socialists and performing a Celine Dion cover. As our founding fathers once said, “Only you, sitting at home, can call and decide who is America’s Next Top President!”
“45 and Pregnant”
Instead of watching the overdone shows about teenage pregnancies, tune into TV Land’s new reality show: “45 and Pregnant!” From the people who brought you the hits “Teen Mom” and “The View” comes a new show detailing the lives of five 45-year-old expecting mothers, and the whirlwind they’ve been thrown into. Watch as 45-year-old women must go to lamaze classes alongside women who have no idea who Carol Burnett is, but do know what “hashtag” means. You can experience the drama of women asking for “twilight sleep” and debating naming their daughters Judy or Marilyn after their favorite actresses. This new clash-of-generations show is bound to keep you at the edge of your seat with a computer handy in order to look up all of the outdated pop culture references you miss!
I LOVE IT. You are hilarious, and I can’t wait to read more!