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By Genae Matthews, Sharvari Johari Miscellanea, The Wellesley SnoozeNovember 17, 2016

Wellesley College introduces new courses for Spring 2017 semester

PHIL 267: Nihilistic Aspirations

This course will fulfill the epistemology and cognition requirement for aspiring hipsters who want to have a semblance of thinking deep thoughts. Students will learn how to ask annoying existential questions of their friends, memorize at least five Nietzsche quotes for reciting in public, and perfect their depressed gaze. Readings will include sparknotes of Sartre, angsty tumblr posts, and the lyrics of songs from Spotify’s “life sucks” playlist.

NEURO 128: Neuroscience Vocabulary

This course is aimed towards helping humanities students learn scientific vocabulary to impress their STEM friends. Students will learn how to condense the latest scientific discoveries into 160 character twitter worthy posts. Materials will include the dictionary, discarded print-outs in the SCI library, and copious Ted Talks.

ANTH 294: “Wanderlust” for White People

This course is ideal for students who overuse the word ‘wanderlust’ and have basically memorized “Eat, Pray, Love.” Potential topics include learning how to curate the perfect “Travel” board on Pinterest, instruction on how to shoot a Facebook worthy profile picture in a third-world country, and practicing saying ‘I love you’ in as many languages as possible.  Readings include Travel and Leisure and Three Cups of Tea.

Econ 234: Economics for Future Investment Bankers

This class is perfect for students who enter Wellesley who want to be in Finance or Investment Banking and have no choice but to take Economics. Potential topics include how to get into Goldman Sach despite your deeply disadvantageous position of going to Wellesley and how to send networking emails to alumni who already get 100 emails a day. Reading and resources include “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Vault Guide to Investment Banking”

BIO 123: Writing for Pre-med students

This class will count as a humanities distribution for pre-med majors who can’t bear to risk their near stellar GPA on the silly distribution requirement that is core to the liberal arts philosophy. Skills will include writing persuasive essays to your friends on how grade deflation is literally the devil and how you’re not in it for the money, it’s about helping people. Materials include “Complications” by Atul Gawande and “Grey’s Anatomy”

WRIT 321: Bullshitting your reading and writing

At Wellesley, its unreasonable to actually read and respond to all of your readings. This class will teach you how to participate in your classroom discussions without having actually read the relevant materials. In addition, this class will teach you the research methods for writing a satisfactory term paper after having slacked on your work all semester. This class will be essential to looking like the smartest Wendy in the room.

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