• About
  • Editorial Board
    • Staff Writers
  • Advertise
  • Join Us
  • Archives
The Wellesley News -
  • News and Features
    • Professor Phillip Levine Discusses “A Problem of Fit”
      Professor Phillip Levine Discusses “A Problem of Fit”
    • CS Department shifts CS 111 course structure
      CS Department shifts CS 111 course structure
    • WAMI and WRJ host discussion on criminalization of abortion
      WAMI and WRJ host discussion on criminalization of abortion
    • News
      • News in Brief
      • Nation & World
      • President’s Corner
      • Senate Report
    • Features
      • Alumnae Spotlight
      • Eye on Science
      • Faculty Focus
      • LGBTQIA+ Column
  • Opinions
    • Andrew tate: ending the cycle of toxic masculinity
      Andrew tate: ending the cycle of toxic masculinity
    • Turn it off: healing from news fatigue in the digital age
      Turn it off: healing from news fatigue in the digital age
    • Let them eat bread: the unequal effects of food price inflation
      Let them eat bread: the unequal effects of food price inflation
    • Staff Editorial
    • Letters to the Editor
    • The Elephant in the Room
  • Arts
    • The 95th Academy Awards Nominations: The Cool and The Controversial
      The 95th Academy Awards Nominations: The Cool and The Controversial
    • Lucy Dacus Brings a Minimal Yet Powerful Performance to Northeastern University
      Lucy Dacus Brings a Minimal Yet Powerful Performance to Northeastern University
    • “Glass Onion” Takes Shots at Easy Targets
      “Glass Onion” Takes Shots at Easy Targets
    • Arts In The News
    • Reviews
    • Music Peek
    • Books Before Boys
  • Sports and Wellness
    • Student-Athlete of October
      Student-Athlete of October
    • Athletics Update Oct. 19, 2022
      Athletics Update Oct. 19, 2022
    • The Case for Body Neutrality
      The Case for Body Neutrality
    • Athlete of the Week
    • Boston Sports Update
    • The Vegan Digest
    • The SHE Corner
  • The Wellesley Snooze
    • Rejected Snooze Articles for the Week
      Rejected Snooze Articles for the Week
    • Happy Valentine’s Day from Spog
      Happy Valentine’s Day from Spog
    • The Four Best Places to Loudly FaceTime Someone on Campus
      The Four Best Places to Loudly FaceTime Someone on Campus
  • Miscellanea
    • President’s Column: The Butterfly Effect
      President’s Column: The Butterfly Effect
    • Administrators shocked to learn that students dislike being left in dark
      Administrators shocked to learn that students dislike being left in dark
    • 50 Lies You Tell Yourself in Order to Survive Until Graduation
      50 Lies You Tell Yourself in Order to Survive Until Graduation
    • The Dose
    • The Olive Branch
    • Multimedia
      • Galleries
      • Infographics
      • Videos
By Nuala Stone Miscellanea, The Wellesley SnoozeOctober 4, 2017

Eleven alternative fun facts that will leave people guessing, but not enough to ask follow up questions

Photo courtesy of dreamstime.com

This September has brought with it a slew of anti-fun fact memes, each created in opposition to the heinous first day of class tradition which dictates that every student must tell the class her/their name, preferred gender pronouns, where they are from, why she/they took this class, and, yes, you saw it coming, a ‘fun fact’ about herself/themselves – something quirky and personal she’d/they’d like the class to know about them.

For most students, fun facts are, in fact, not that fun to think of or say. The process of coming up with a fun fact is often stressful and requires some serious mental exertion; is “I spent the summer in Spain” too boring? Is “my favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate peanut buttery swirl” too unnecessarily detailed for such a mind numbing blurb of information? What about, “I interned at Morgan Stanley”? You may not be bragging, but you sure sound like you are. And, for your sake, maybe don’t say anything along the lines of “I’m really really random” or “I like unicorns and fuzzy things;” most people haven’t been wired to understand those kinds of comments since xD.

In lieu of banning such a heinous (I am saying heinous for a second, now a third, time) practice forever, here is a list of eleven alternative fun facts that you can tell the class, all the while knowing that you will not be dubbed “boring” or “extra.” Well, maybe a wee bit extra. And you probably won’t receive any follow up questions, at least not during class.

1. I went over Niagara Falls in a barrel but unfortunately I didn’t make it back alive.

2. In my free time I talk sh*t about everyone in this class with my good friend X.

3. December of senior year my friend got into Yale and then I used her resume for my college applications in January of that same year (she never applied to Wellesley so it worked out well. As you can see).

4. People say chocolate kills dogs, but I’m pretty sure the only thing that hurts them is the economy.

5. My sister is my parents’ favorite child, but I can do all the drugs I want.

6. I’m starting a petition to bring back pencils with real lead.

7. I like sharpies, but at the end of the day Elmer’s is where its at.

8. Not only was she my mother-in-law, she was also my lover.

9. At the end of the day, we’re all just human beings. What separates some from the rest is that some have summer internships at Morgan Stanley (if you absolutely must).

10. Stealing is surprisingly easy, as I’m sure all of you know.

11. Die Antwood’s “I Fink You Freaky” was inspired by my lisp.

Share on

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Google +
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
Previous articleSilly Man on Amtrak
Next articleA Colorful Crowd

You may also like

Rejected Snooze Articles for the Week

Happy Valentine’s Day from Spog

The Four Best Places to Loudly FaceTime Someone on Campus

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Email Newsletter

Sign up to receive our weekly digest in your inbox

* indicates required

Top Articles

  • Stone-Davis dining staff report mistreatment
  • Logos of social media apps such as Twitter, Tiktok, Netflix, Spotify, and Discord. Andrew tate: ending the cycle of toxic masculinity
  • The 95th Academy Awards Nominations: The Cool and The Contro...
  • A collection of a wide variety of foods in the colors of the rainbow Let them eat bread: the unequal effects of food price inflat...
  • Red envelope that contains money to celebrate the Lunar New Year. America’s cultural appropriation is a modern form of i...

Recent Tweets

Tweets by @Wellesley_News

The independent student newspaper of Wellesley College since 1901.

Sign up to receive our weekly digest in your inbox

* indicates required

  • About
  • Editorial Board
    • Staff Writers
  • Advertise
  • Join Us
  • Archives
COPYRIGHT © 2023 THE WELLESLEY NEWS
Back to top