- Cry in office hours — Truly a rite of passage, you might get this one done well before senior year. Maybe first year you didn’t even realize you were supposed to go to office hours, so you’re starting out a little behind your peers. Don’t worry, though! Once you’re a sophomore, you’ll likely experience periodic personality crisis, and sometimes they’ll conveniently overlap with major due dates. You’ll be crying in no time.
- Get sloppy (not silly) at a department party—This requires a delicate balance of drinking and timing. Drink enough that you have the confidence to talk to the professor with the weirdest and funniest stories, but also keep in mind when you’ll have to see them again. Do you still have one more class to go this semester? Or, if you’re a graduating senior, go all out.
- Write a letter to the editor —Did we publish an editorial you didn’t like? Frame a story in a way you didn’t like? Write us a letter. Subtweet us. We live for the #drama, and it only makes us feel more important.
- Kill your first year plant —Plants from the greenhouse are the perfect way to decorate your dorm room, and prove that you can take care of not only yourself, but another living thing. Even if you chose something hearty like bamboo, it won’t last when you forget about it over winter break. Buy a fake plant.
- Faceplant walking around the lake —It’s happened to all of us. The first unseasonably warm day of spring, you get overconfident and think you can handle the walk around Lake Waban, not remembering that the far side remains a solid sheet of ice until April. Falling on your ass hurts, but it’s a rite of passage
