• About
  • Editorial Board
    • Staff Writers
  • Advertise
  • Join Us
  • Archives
The Wellesley News -
  • News and Features
    • Professor Phillip Levine Discusses “A Problem of Fit”
      Professor Phillip Levine Discusses “A Problem of Fit”
    • CS Department shifts CS 111 course structure
      CS Department shifts CS 111 course structure
    • WAMI and WRJ host discussion on criminalization of abortion
      WAMI and WRJ host discussion on criminalization of abortion
    • News
      • News in Brief
      • Nation & World
      • President’s Corner
      • Senate Report
    • Features
      • Alumnae Spotlight
      • Eye on Science
      • Faculty Focus
      • LGBTQIA+ Column
  • Opinions
    • Andrew tate: ending the cycle of toxic masculinity
      Andrew tate: ending the cycle of toxic masculinity
    • Turn it off: healing from news fatigue in the digital age
      Turn it off: healing from news fatigue in the digital age
    • Let them eat bread: the unequal effects of food price inflation
      Let them eat bread: the unequal effects of food price inflation
    • Staff Editorial
    • Letters to the Editor
    • The Elephant in the Room
  • Arts
    • The 95th Academy Awards Nominations: The Cool and The Controversial
      The 95th Academy Awards Nominations: The Cool and The Controversial
    • Lucy Dacus Brings a Minimal Yet Powerful Performance to Northeastern University
      Lucy Dacus Brings a Minimal Yet Powerful Performance to Northeastern University
    • “Glass Onion” Takes Shots at Easy Targets
      “Glass Onion” Takes Shots at Easy Targets
    • Arts In The News
    • Reviews
    • Music Peek
    • Books Before Boys
  • Sports and Wellness
    • Student-Athlete of October
      Student-Athlete of October
    • Athletics Update Oct. 19, 2022
      Athletics Update Oct. 19, 2022
    • The Case for Body Neutrality
      The Case for Body Neutrality
    • Athlete of the Week
    • Boston Sports Update
    • The Vegan Digest
    • The SHE Corner
  • The Wellesley Snooze
    • Rejected Snooze Articles for the Week
      Rejected Snooze Articles for the Week
    • Happy Valentine’s Day from Spog
      Happy Valentine’s Day from Spog
    • The Four Best Places to Loudly FaceTime Someone on Campus
      The Four Best Places to Loudly FaceTime Someone on Campus
  • Miscellanea
    • President’s Column: The Butterfly Effect
      President’s Column: The Butterfly Effect
    • Administrators shocked to learn that students dislike being left in dark
      Administrators shocked to learn that students dislike being left in dark
    • 50 Lies You Tell Yourself in Order to Survive Until Graduation
      50 Lies You Tell Yourself in Order to Survive Until Graduation
    • The Dose
    • The Olive Branch
    • Multimedia
      • Galleries
      • Infographics
      • Videos
By Margaret Olmsted Miscellanea, The Wellesley SnoozeSeptember 20, 2019

How many of these classic Wellesley anxiety dreams have you had?

  1. The one where you are in a 300 level CS class and the professor is going really fast but you can’t follow along because someone has replaced your computer with a little pile of teeth.
  2. The one where you’re sitting on those curved couches in Lulu and everyone who comes up to the mail services window is someone who has cut you off in a class discussion and at a certain point you can’t help but think, “Are they all here together?”
  3. The one where it feels like a normal day but the Love Island narrator (Ian) is doing a quirky voiceover and won’t stop referring to you as “Goose Food.”
  4. The one where you’re giving your Tanner presentation but then someone turns the lights off and starts playing “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” (1989) on the screen behind you and everyone in the audience cheers.
  5. The one where you think you live in Lake House but every time you show up to your room, all your stuff has been moved to the hallway and John Bailes is teaching an Introduction to Mindfulness class in there.
  6. The one where you go on Twitter and President Johnson has tweeted a picture of you that she’s edited to make it look like you’ve had spaghetti dumped on your head.
  7. The one where you go to your favorite professor’s office hours and you walk in and everyone there is taking turns scratching a pumpkin on which someone has written “Property of Actor Rick Moranis.”
  8. The one where you’re in Stone-Davis dining hall and you think everything is fine but you slowly realize that everyone around you is just a different sized David Todd.
  9. The one where you go to the Davis and everyone is crowded around a painting of you and actor Rick Moranis being eaten by geese.

Share on

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Google +
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
Previous articleSelections from the new Wellesley 100
Next articleThe Strange and Exotic Life of the Harvard Boy

You may also like

Rejected Snooze Articles for the Week

Happy Valentine’s Day from Spog

The Four Best Places to Loudly FaceTime Someone on Campus

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Email Newsletter

Sign up to receive our weekly digest in your inbox

* indicates required

Top Articles

  • Logos of social media apps such as Twitter, Tiktok, Netflix, Spotify, and Discord. Andrew tate: ending the cycle of toxic masculinity
  • Stone-Davis dining staff report mistreatment
  • The 95th Academy Awards Nominations: The Cool and The Contro...
  • A collection of a wide variety of foods in the colors of the rainbow Let them eat bread: the unequal effects of food price inflat...
  • Red envelope that contains money to celebrate the Lunar New Year. America’s cultural appropriation is a modern form of i...

Recent Tweets

Tweets by @Wellesley_News

The independent student newspaper of Wellesley College since 1901.

Sign up to receive our weekly digest in your inbox

* indicates required

  • About
  • Editorial Board
    • Staff Writers
  • Advertise
  • Join Us
  • Archives
COPYRIGHT © 2023 THE WELLESLEY NEWS
Back to top