Because we love our fans and want the best for you, here’s ten tips for becoming the sexist, nose swabbing sib.
1. Maintain direct eye contact with the medical attendant. Points for winking.
2. Stick the entire swab into your mouth.
3. Slow and steady nostril circles.
4. Use both hands.
5. Say “boop!” when dropping it into the cup.
6. Makeup on the whole on whole face so you’re prepared to stun when taking
your mask off. Make sure your lipstick is a little smudged for an added mystic.
7. Take out all your nose piercings one by one. Leave them on the table.
8. Take off your glasses, mask, let your hair down, a la “She’s All That”
or “Miss Congeniality” or “Princess Diaries”, while delicately draping your e
jacket over your arm.
9. Swiping your credit card or/ drivers license (if you have a fake even better)
instead of ID to show off.
10. Accidentally drop the swab and do the bend and snap when picking it up.