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By Ria Goveas The Wellesley SnoozeApril 6, 2022

Locomotion to stop at BU, Northeastern to encourage students to have partners elsewhere

The LocalMotion bus won't be stopping at Harvard for long. Photo courtesy of Sazma Sarwar

In an effort to mitigate the spread of elitism and steminism, Wellesley College has decided to have the Locomotion stop not just at Harvard and MIT but also at BU and Northeastern.

The next phase of the plan includes removing the Harvard and MIT stops all together. 

“This should give students enough time to end relationships and friendships. If they really mattered, they would spring for the $120 uber,” said President Jaula Pohnson. 

When asked what cross registered students would have to do to get to MIT, she said that if MIT really cared about them they would ‘figure it out’ and ‘stop putting the onus on her’. 

When asked about why Babson doesn’t factor into the plan, President Pohnson looked up from the Costar app on her phone in confusion. 

“Every astrology girl deserves an NFT bro.” 

Mrs. Lotion, who has been driving for the locomotion for 20 years now, believes this plan may or may not make a difference.

“They may stop calling it the fuck truck. At least, Harvard and MIT will. BU and Northeastern will of course begin soon, but that’s a problem for another day.”

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