My manager first got the TikTok DM from Dear Hannah Prep’s team while she was making me and my little sister scrambled egg whites before our biweekly homeschool. She ordinarily doesn’t let us go shopping on worknights (unless we finish all our other sponsored content). Needless to say, we were ecstatic! I mean, who wouldn’t be? The very next day, she and Daddy whisked us out to Dallas for our auditions and initial interviews. When we arrived, Hannah pulled my parents aside for a quick conversation before escorting them to the employee parking lot behind the preppiest strip mall in all of Texas. They looked upset. I think they were just jealous that I got to stay in the storefront all by myself, so as they left, I yelled out to them that I’d put aside something preppy in their sizes.
After that, I waited for Hannah to return. Minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into even more hours. I sat there restless, doubting myself. Maybe I just wasn’t preppy enough to wear the signature pink and green tinfoil hats along with the rest of the Quad. My manager doesn’t let me have any Red 40, so I was concerned I might not have enough energy to perform the TikTok dances. Then, all of a sudden, I heard her. A voice seemingly echoed out from every ruffled skirt rack, sweatshirt shelf, and neon sparkly trucker hat display. All the cameras swiveled and locked in on me. She said, “The test is about to begin. In three, two, one.” What happened next is all just a blur of yellow smiley faces, vomit, and gingham. I can’t recall much besides Hannah coming in after my trial telling me I’d failed her. I was disappointed but mostly in myself, so I totally understand this whole “relocation” thing. And Dear Hannah, if you’re reading this, I don’t even mind it; in fact, I think this is the preppiest remote testing facility in the whole southern hemisphere!