- The one where you are in a 300 level CS class and the professor is going really fast but you can’t follow along because someone has replaced your computer with a little pile of teeth.
- The one where you’re sitting on those curved couches in Lulu and everyone who comes up to the mail services window is someone who has cut you off in a class discussion and at a certain point you can’t help but think, “Are they all here together?”
- The one where it feels like a normal day but the Love Island narrator (Ian) is doing a quirky voiceover and won’t stop referring to you as “Goose Food.”
- The one where you’re giving your Tanner presentation but then someone turns the lights off and starts playing “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” (1989) on the screen behind you and everyone in the audience cheers.
- The one where you think you live in Lake House but every time you show up to your room, all your stuff has been moved to the hallway and John Bailes is teaching an Introduction to Mindfulness class in there.
- The one where you go on Twitter and President Johnson has tweeted a picture of you that she’s edited to make it look like you’ve had spaghetti dumped on your head.
- The one where you go to your favorite professor’s office hours and you walk in and everyone there is taking turns scratching a pumpkin on which someone has written “Property of Actor Rick Moranis.”
- The one where you’re in Stone-Davis dining hall and you think everything is fine but you slowly realize that everyone around you is just a different sized David Todd.
- The one where you go to the Davis and everyone is crowded around a painting of you and actor Rick Moranis being eaten by geese.
How many of these classic Wellesley anxiety dreams have you had?
Margaret Olmsted
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September 20, 2019
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