We’re not pansy pants anymore, and we’re actually going to write edgy sh*t now (for realsies!!). This is the era of a new Snooze. Welcome to the era of megac*nt. Anyone have any coke? Oh wait, the Econ department’s right here.

Offended? Talk about snowflakes. Can’t talk sh*t on campus without getting censored by the liberal agenda. Wake up sheeple, the real enemy isn’t Paula Johnson, it’s the chicken tinga agenda and you know it. Why does it take thirty minutes to make a bowl of Jamaican chicken? Jamaican me crazy! Badda bing badda boom zinger right there.

*We’re very sorry if we’ve offended any of our Jamaican sibs. We hear you, we see you, and we love chicken tinga.*