Next week on Wellesley Girls Gone Wild, the most uptight college students you’ve ever seen will be unleashed onto beaches near you. Dear reader, you may be asking yourselves, how will these freaks be able to behave in the wild? This is the Wellesley snooze comprehensive guide to a normal girls spring break. 

1. While you may feel inclined to behave according to your regular Wellesley sensibilities, refrain from comments about grades, fellowships, 5 year plans, and anything else that emphasizes the large stick currently placed up your ass. 
2. If possible, before boarding your plane, train, or automobile, return hair (and eyebrows) to the color that god intended.
3. Looking for somewhere to vomit but the TCW elevator is nowhere to be found, try the street, a bag, or maybe your friend’s new purse! 
4. Kiss a man!
5. Refrain from calling things “____ coded” irl
6. Please understand that not every outdoor staircase is suitable for smoking like steps, this is extremely important if you plan on site seeing on your vacation 
7. On that same note, while traveling abroad, if you’re going to bark at men passing by please be mindful of the language barrier. For instance, if you’re headed to Mexico, dogs down there say “guau-guau” instead of “woof-woof,” so please respect that.