What to Say Instead of “I go to Wellesley”

Are you tired of having to explain Wellesley to old friends, relatives, new coworkers, randos you meet at the bar, and anyone from your small ass Midwestern hometown? Tired of the phrases “a small liberal arts college” and “HWC”? Have you ever asked yourself, how can I be pretentious the way a man is? We love what the Harvard bros have done with their ever subtle “I went to school in Cambridge.” But, have you as a Wellesley student, ever wanted to emulate that air of East Coast collegiate snobbery (and avoid the inevitable “ … Wesleyan?”)?

Here are some tried and true phrases to say instead of “I go to Wellesley College”

I use she/they pronouns

My brother school is MIT!

Hillary Clinton went there

It’s like … a girl Ivy

I never got off the Barnard waitlist

I’m bi with a boyfriend

It’s a sisterhood! (I’m a legacy)

We’re only 20 minutes outside of Boston

It’s not a Girls School, it’s a (historically) Women’s College

No, not Smith or Mount Holyoke, we’re the one that’s actually in civilization 

Yeah, I had blue hair in middle school

You know, from Mona Lisa Smile (2003), starring Julia Roberts