***Editor’s Note: This article was published as part of the satirical April 1, 2015
Feeling excluded from the cultural orgs on campus, many white students on Wellesley’s campus have banded together to put on a “Caucasian Cultural Show.”
“I’m tired of being excluded from culture-based orgs on campus,” said Carly Jones, founder and organizer of the Caucasian Cultural Show. “Its kind of racist that just because I’m white I don’t get to show my own culture.” The show featured many performances that Jones believed perfectly exemplified Caucasian culture. The main headliner was an amateur DJ from Bentley University, Logan Anderson. Anderson’s personal musical inspiration stems from other EDM artists including Skrillex, Girl Talk and Avicii.
“I’m really trying to integrate more rap music into my art,” Anderson said. “I just put an Eminem sample in my latest mix.” Anderson, a native of Iowa, said that he was happy to be included in the Caucasian Cultural Show because it gave him a chance to share his music with others. “I’m really just looking to create the sickest bass drop possible,” Anderson said when asked about his musical ambition.
After Anderson performed, organizer Jones led everyone is a group discussion of Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love.” Martha Robinson, an attendee, mentioned how she wished she could just leave Wellesley and fly around the world to find herself.
“I’m totally a Buddhist,” Robinson said. “I do yoga like every month.” The audiences mainly focused on how beautiful the descriptions of monks were and how they would also like to find a man who knew how to Salsa.
Next was a speech from motivational speaker Chelsea Davis, who spoke about her charity trip to Africa. Davis spoke of the innocence and desperation of the people of that society and how she realized how selfish she was being living in the United States. Her presentations included pictures of her standing next to a well she built and next to an exotic animal. Her favorite photo was her with some African children which currently has 117 Facebook likes.
“I went to this village expecting to teach them,” Davis said. “But they actually taught me!” When asked some clarifying questions about the work she did in Africa, Davis responded that she built a well and taught the children some words in English. Davis ended her speech by saying she would love to help more poor and starving people in third-world countries and her future plans to travel to Asia.
The next performance was a cooking demonstration by YouTube chef Jenny Peters on how to make a casserole. Peters’ casserole dish included tuna fish, noodles and Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup.
“It should really evoke feelings of being back home in Minnesota,” Peters said. Peters mentioned that adding potato chips would give a nice crunch to the mix but to be careful with the black pepper as you don’t want the casserole to get too spicy. Audience members could taste a sample of Peters’ casserole along with samples of her pillows with the phrase “Live, Laugh, Love” embroidered on them with a picture of a barn.
The show wrapped up with country music cover band “Wagon and a Pint,” who played covers of songs by the likes of Miranda Lambert and Jason Aldean.
“I’ll die free in the South,” sang the band accompanied by the audience who resided primarily in New England. When asked why they chose primarily country songs, Darren Williams, lead singer, responded, “It’s all about a can of beer, your girl and a football game. That’s the life.”
When asked why she was all of the sudden feeling so strongly about her race, Jones replied that after Ferguson she felt like white people were being attacked.
“It sucks what happened there but it isn’t my fault. Myself and all white people aren’t to blame because of colonization and slavery. I didn’t do any of that. People forget that white people struggle too. I almost didn’t get into Wellesley because I’m not a minority. That isn’t fair!” Jones mentioned that she also feels very strongly about her cultural traditions. “I love St. Patrick’s Day because I’m 25 percent Irish,” said Jones.
Jones said she was very pleased with the success of the show.
“Even though we’re a majority on campus, I think we had our voice heard,” she said.