***Editor’s Note: This article was published as part of the satirical April 1, 2015
With the spring season fast approaching, Wellesley students have been slowly emerging from that one corner of their bed and wondering what to wear now that it’s sunny. While many students actually forgot what the sun looked like, others have been hoping to build a cohesive wardrobe now that they are not blocked by six-foot snow banks. The Fashionable Wendys can simply look around campus for style inspiration based on their personal Wellesley lifestyle.
Peter Pan bus fashions include high-heeled wedges paired with a shirt from Tobi that lacks shoulders or a back. One can really enhance this look with a slight stain from spilling your frat party Natural Light or another Wendy’s pregame bus vomit. This look is paired best with a tiny purse from Forever 21 to hold your ID and bus token and also a bottle of wine to keep your trip on the bus more interesting. This look will attract engineers and business tycoons alike, making sure the Peter isn’t the only man in your life.
This look also transitions well from evening to day, evoking a “Sunday 10 a.m.” bus aesthetic, which includes smudged eyeliner, an awkward morning with a boy in salmon-colored shorts and a crinkled punch pass. Check up on your hair while you remember last night’s encounter with a frat boy, which makes you consider dating women. Not even the judgmental look from other bus riders can take away from your Stride of Pride. While this look can be hard to maintain, because you’re straight, you only have to look good two days a week. On weekdays you don’t have to shower or shave and can commit to sweatpants and T-shirts.
Fashions featured in Tower dining hall on Sunday mornings include the “I have an MIT boyfriend” which features an MIT engineering sweatshirt, pajamas and a look of superiority. Common accessories include a less attractive white boy from course 6 who thinks all the girls are looking at him and can’t make a sandwich without your help. Flip your hair and keep your chin high while you show off your trophy man to all your dorm mates.
Other aesthetics found in Tower include “Society Girl Brunch” which includes a monogrammed tote bag, matching bow and hazing. This event requires at least four Instagram pictures, mentions of your mixers and hashtagging about your “family.”
Around Pendleton, one can look for the “Finance fashionista” look, which includes an economics major and a tight bob, designer boots and an expensive flowy blouse. Essential accessories include a recent acceptance letter from a powerful corporation and a Longchamp tote bag. This look is a step up from the “still unemployed” fashions seen in the fall, which included worry lines, a full interview outfit and backup applications to business school.
Seen around Hoop and El Table are several types of looks including “Baby Queer” which includes plaid birkenstocks and a bad Wellesley chop done in a friend’s room. Newly out, this first year really emphasizes the word fluidity in her texts to her old high school boyfriend and likes wearing Doc Martens at the Pub. You’ll love being able to hook up with your friends’ exes and sticking a blue and yellow equality sticker on your laptop. Upgrading this look to the “lesbian couple” aesthetic requires a girlfriend who looks suspiciously like you, an U-Haul and an undercut. You’ll love taking questions about how you might be moving too fast or getting dirty looks from your girlfriend’s ex.
Upstairs in Founders, we have the “Liberal Arts Major” look which includes vintage posters in your dorm room and political laptop stickers. Pair your thick-rimmed glasses with a room in French House and a speech about how you actually love what you study. Complementary accessories include a crush on a professor who totally changed your point of view and a tote bag with your most recent knitting project.
Walking along campus, we have “Science Center Chic,” which includes fashions from pre-med majors who accessorize with looks of anxiety, Leaky Beaker coffee and constantly talking about how hard physics is. Sweatpants and emergency shampoo and conditioner for the Science Center shower enhance this look. Worried not everyone will know this is the look you’re going for? Don’t worry! Since you are pre-med, you’ll probably tell everyone within five minutes of meeting you.
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