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By Samantha Churchill Miscellanea, The ArtichokeNovember 14, 2019

The course browser (continued)

Photo Courtesy of Wellesley College

Here are a few essential Wellesley courses to help you make the most out of your time here. If you managed to miss seeing these the first time around on the course browser please add yourself to the waitlist as soon as possible, as we expect them to fill up very quickly. 

 

ASTR 400 – Advanced Astrological Analysis

Prerequisites: Ability to download Co-Star

This is notably the only 400 class offered at Wellesley, which speaks to how complex and how crucial this material is. You will gain all the tools necessary to evaluate not only your compatibility with everyone else in your life, but also how astrological predictions have affected and continue to affect major events in world history. We will also discuss how to proliferate the practice of star sign analysis in order to work towards a more peaceful world.

 

ANTH 305 – Wellesley College: Elite Institution or Cult?

Prerequisites: Having attended at least one Flower Sunday

Science has yet to properly explore and document the dynamics of this hallowed campus. While it purports to be an institution of higher learning, there is a concerning amount of Kool-Aid being sipped. This class will basically ask you to define and solve the Wellesley condition in one semester’s time, but we believe this is very doable.

 

Calderwood Seminar in Public Writing: Mass Emails (cross-listed)

Note: Not available to those who have already achieved fame by sending a mass email

Learn how to write an email that really sparks a conversation. We will explore how to expand the most mundane of circumstances into a campus wide debate. Your final grade will be based on how many reply all responses you can solicit with a single email. (Note: reply all responses that comment on the stupidity of reply all responses are worth double the points.)

 

ECON 100 – I’m Not a Snake

Prerequisites: Having uttered the above words at least once in your life

In this class, we will discuss how to convince your truly liberal arts sibs that working towards an Analyst position at Goldman does not make you a sell-out. Topics include how to discuss “changing the institution from the inside” without actually doing it, crafting plans to leave the private sector for the public sector after you have “saved enough money” and avoiding the urge to blame poor people for poverty. This class is open to sell-outs or pragmatists of all majors.

 

ENG 169 – Real Classy Double Entendres

Prerequisites: Some experience on Tinder, Bumble or Grindr is helpful but not necessary

Wellesley kids are nerds and most of us appreciate a thoughtful, nerdy and at least mildly suggestive pickup line. Certainly, there is no better way to bone up on this skill than by studying great English poetry and prose. Our primary case study will be Shakespeare, who managed to make his work synonymous with class and status despite, or perhaps because of, a healthy helping of phallus jokes. 

 

PSYC 100 – Introduction to Duck and Imposter Syndrome

Prerequisites: Admission to Wellesley

You may have thought you were something special in highschool, but now that you are expanding your horizons you might be starting to feel like you actually don’t know anything. This is your new equilibrium state, welcome. This class will help you cope with this new normal state of constant panic while remaining calm on the surface (duck syndrome) in order to further perpetuate the conditions necessary for imposter syndrome to flourish. 

 

MATH (-)348 – Living in the Red: Analysis of Negative Numbers

Prerequisites: MATH 348 Analysis of Positive Numbers (so you know what you are missing)

This is one math course that will certainly be relevant to the lives of all students both during and many years after their time at Wellesley. We won’t be covering how to turn the negative numbers into positive ones, but we will teach you how to live your best life with your negative account balance!

 

Wellesley PE 101 – Introduction to Hills (PE credit)

Prerequisites: None

This is an introduction to the many beautiful hills of Wellesley’s campus. Learn not only how to conquer them, but also how to roll down them gracefully when you really just can’t anymore.

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