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By Carrie Wang, Samantha Churchill MiscellaneaMarch 13, 2020

50 Lies You Tell Yourself in Order to Survive Until Graduation

  1. I will wake up early to do my readings before class tomorrow
  2. I do not turn into one of those scared dog memes when I hear a male voice on campus
  3. Next week I will really start to get my life together
  4. College is actually the worst, I’m dropping out
  5. I’m going to fail this test anyway so I might as well give up now
  6. Next year I am going to have a better work-life balance
  7. Wellesley is the reason I am so stressed all the time, once I graduate it will get better
  8. That would have been an A if it weren’t for grade deflation
  9. I’ve got class tomorrow so I’m not getting hammered
  10. Just one more episode … …
  11. The ideal outcome would really be to get a sugar daddy/mama or just be a trophy wife
  12. I can totally be just as productive studying in Starbucks
  13. I’m not addicted to coffee, I just like the taste
  14. Buying bubble tea will fix all my problems
  15. Yeah, this sentence makes sense
  16. Yeah, this essay makes sense
  17. Just four more years and then I’m done, no grad school for me
  18. These first years are so much worse than we were
  19. It’s not that cold
  20. I’m just really focused on my career right now, that’s why I’m not dating
  21. Thesis-ing cannot actually kill me
  22. I’m one of those “sleepless elites” you hear about all the time
  23. *Selects “going” for a Facebook event* I will definitely go to this!
  24. I’m deleting Tinder, for real this time
  25. I’m deleting Bumble, for real this time
  26. This probably won’t be on the midterm
  27. We won’t get asbestos from the tunnels
  28. My C – oStar said that this week would be trying, that’s why everything is such a disaster right now
  29. If I throw myself I front of a snow plow there are only two possible outcomes: either I get my diploma early or we get a snow day
  30. I’m not going to cry today
  31. Downtime is overrated
  32. Grad schools won’t care if I take my entire semester credit/non
  33. Flirting by sending a g-cal invite is okay
  34. I’m not afraid of geese
  35. 32 degrees is shorts weather
  36. I can totally go out two nights in a row
  37. If I don’t make eye contact, there’s no way I will get cold called
  38. My prof won’t notice if I adjust the margins just a bit
  39. I will never again be complicit in capitalism
  40. I would 100 percent survive The Hunger Games
  41. I would never marry a Harvard kid
  42. Econ majors aren’t the Regina George of Wellesley
  43. The scenery here is enough to compensate for slowly succumbing to insanity
  44. I totally understand everything you just said
  45. Laptop stickers are an acceptable substitute for a personality
  46. My flirting techniques have evolved since middle school
  47. The Bachelor doesn’t set women back 50 years
  48. I don’t rely on Google Groups for gossip
  49. Canada Goose jackets are fashionable
  50. Graduation won’t be cancelled

 

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1 Comment

  • Amanda Stone says:
    July 15, 2020 at 2:58 AM

    Everything about “tomorrow, next week, from next semester” is so true!! In fact, this is not a lie to oneself, but an intention that is not fulfilled due to lack of will power.
    In any case, the graduation will take place sooner or later, and afterward we will be happy that we have coped with it!

    Reply

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