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“Lavender Haze”
You make wedding Pinterest boards. For the men (Timothée Chalamet) on your “future husband” Pinterest board. For your future life (photos of unrealistically large Tribeca apartments) Pinterest board.
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“Maroon”
Your Rice Purity Score is still 97.
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“Anti-Hero”
You cried when the queen died.
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“Snow On The Beach (ft. Lana del Rey)”
You thought you were cool for running a black market slime business in 8th grade. You still bring this up in your senior year of college. It’s why you’re an econ major.
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“You’re On Your Own, Kid”
You were abandoned as a child.
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“Midnight Rain”
No bitches?
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“Question…?”
You spend four hours a day on WikiHow.
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“Vigilante Shit”
You shoplift from Brandy Melville.
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“Bejeweled”
If you aren’t be-juuled, you aren’t cool enough to read this.
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“Labyrinth”
You need therapy.
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“Karma”
You’re currently trying very hard (a little too hard) to be TikTok famous.
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“Sweet Nothing”
You think you can sing, but you can’t, and no one has the heart to tell you that your voice sounds like Trisha Paytas queefing.
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“Mastermind”
