The Wellesley Snooze

Top 10 Girlbosses who aren’t alumnae, but I would totally believe you if you told me they were

  1. Lena Dunham

    1. Loud, white liberal with a pixie cut

    2. Megan Rapinoe (ibid)

    3. We know you’re mad about this, but it’s true

  2. Eve (from the Bible, not WALL-E)

    1. Had hella plants, but abandoned them

  3. Little Bo-Peep (from Disney/Pixar’s 1995 Toy Story)

    1. So coquette!

  4. Cruella De Vil

    1. Dyed hair with a quasi mullet, thinks she’s gonna get all the bitches

  5. Rapunzel 

    1. Got the Wellesley chop

  6. Dolores Umbridge

    1. She rocks a pants suit

    2. Took over the whole-ass ministry of magic #slay

  7. Amelia Earhart

    1. Idk why, but it just feels right

    2. Would prob get lost trying to catch the commuter rail

  8. Mindy Kaling

    1. This isn’t a joke lol, I actually did think she went here

  9. Lin Manuel Miranda

    1. Oh wait, never mind, that’s Wesleyan

  10. That one dumbass in my math class’ mom

    1. She has to have been a legacy admit

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