Is your resume shit? Do you spend your Saturdays starting Sidechat drama? Need $$ for weed? Fear not! Career Miseducation has released a new guide featuring cutting-edge ways to land that summer internship AND make yourself Starbucks’s most qualified bisexual barista!
- Become the EΔ (Economics Department) frat sweetheart
- Go deep-sea diving for Hillary Clinton’s emails
- Develop a sexual relationship with the AI bot conducting your interview
- Offer to make the recruiter’s firstborn child the heir to your Hay Day Kingdom
- If D doesn’t work, suck his dick
- If E doesn’t work, catfish the recruiter on Grindr posing as the lucky third in his marriage and then blackmail him when you don’t get the job
- Damn, you still can’t get employed?
- Take the office siren position at Blackrock, babe!
