New study explores in-class argument habits
The anthropology department has finally released its exhaustive, five-year-long study of Wellesley’s in-class argumentative habits. The study, conducted in at least…
Read MoreThe Wellesley Snooze
The Wellesley Snooze is the satire section of The Wellesley News. It operates independently from the Newsroom and Editorial Board.
Students gear up for Annual Midterms Humblebrag Derby
Students across campus are preparing for the Annual Midterms Humblebrag Derby, a Wellesley tradition and student life staple. The Derby,…
Read More
Mild girl from your HoCo embarks on six-year journey down the salad bar
Reports written in conjunction with staff and students at the Bae Pao Lu Chow Dining Hall confirmed this afternoon…
Read More
Neanderthal found at Remix dance floor site
Reports written in conjunction with Campus Police and the anthropology ancient Neanderthal was excavated from the Remix Dance Floor at…
Read More
Student builds fort around thesis carrel
Reports filed to Campus Police of paper, markers and games disappearing from the Spontaneous Moments in the Lives of Everyday…
Read MoreGod doesn’t choose Noah 2.0 in time; the second great flood cancelled
In a historic turn of events, God has cancelled the Second Great Flood. After planning the actual flood meticulously and…
Read More
‘Appreciate me!’ — your Sunday morning hangover
Good Morning, I can see that you’re trying to wake up, but the light is too bright for your poor…
Read MoreAdministration recommends becoming invincible
In an effort to help its students and faculty, Wellesley College sent out an announcement with suggestions. Cosigned by health…
Read MoreWellesley College student has won everything
The College announced Tuesday that Aya Ayye ’15 has finally won everything that she could possibly win as an undergraduate…
Read MoreUpon finding out what Hillary would do, students lose all direction
Sources confirmed Tuesday that Her Royal Highness Hillary Clinton has sent out an official decree telling the world, once and…
Read More