Just before 7 p.m. on Thursday Oct. 13, the co-op living room in Lake House was lined with signs reading “Bondage,” “Role Play,” “S/M” and other kink labels. Demo kink gear adorned the living room table. SJ Stephens ’23, a Wellesley College Sexual Health Educator (SHE), sat waiting for people interested in kink to show up.
“I [didn’t] know how many people will show up today at all,” said Stephens.
This is the first event that the SHEs have hosted focusing exclusively on kink in Stephens’ time on campus, though they generally acknowledge kink in their programming.
“Is there a reason why we haven’t had a kink event?” Stephens wondered.
The event is, in part, intended to help the SHEs answer this question and guide programming for future kink events. Stephens especially hoped that the event will inform the topics talked about by the SHEs’ spring speaker, who will be discussing BDSM.
Stephens organized the SHEs’ kink event as their personal passion project, which the SHEs are encouraging this year. He planned the event after hearing about people posting on YikYak, an anonymous social media platform, about finding a kink community on Wellesley campus.
“This event is to show that we are a group of people who exist on campus,” said Stephens.
Students trickled in starting at 7 p.m. until everyone from experienced kinksters to people with almost no kink experience filled the co-op living room.
Stephens turned on music at the beginning of the event and encouraged people to sign in, scan the QR code for the SHE’s BDSM Resource Guide and pick up the demo kink gear laid out on the living room table. The gear was purchased using the SHE’s budget and had never been used except for demo purposes.
People asked each other for help putting on handcuffs and complimented others on their personal BDSM gear. Paddles, ball gags, wax play candles and other demo gear circulated around the room. People lined up to feel the electromagnetic charge created by the electro-stimulation toy. Stephens moved from group to group answering questions and giving tips for safer BDSM play.
The BDSM resource guide created by the SHEs has safety tips, links to websites like “A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM terms” and the SHE’s contact information. The document focuses on the importance of consent and safety within BDSM play and includes a section on the difference between BDSM and abuse.
“I don’t want people to come to feel particularly insecure, or make fun of other people, or yuck anybody’s yum,” Stephens said before the event began.
It became clear that this would not be the case as attendees were willing to discuss kink in a destigmatized way. Students mingled to talk about their day, their kinks and their common interests. Those experienced in bondage rope tying showed others how to tie harnesses and restraints.
“I hope that people can just meet other people who are into kink or interested in exploring kink. I think it’s a taboo topic on campus,” Stephens said. “I hope that people connect, and if they want to do a scene together, they can do negotiations with each other and all that, or find a common interest and just make a friend.”
