“I felt ‘fake’ for dating my cis-bf when I dearly loved him.” A Wellesley Sidechat user wrote in response to a discussion on the invalidation of bisexuality. This phenomenon exists beyond Wellesley. While inclusivity for LGBTQ+ people in society has progressed, such inclusivity disappears when it comes to bisexual people. 

Society usually assumes people to be either exclusively heterosexual or homosexual — erasing the presence of other sexual orientations, including bisexuality. While famous feminist theorist Simone De Beauvoir, whose personal relationships were subject to much scrutiny, had both same-gender and different-gender romantic relationships, people often pay the most attention to her relationship with Sartre, labeling her as heterosexual. In addition to reductive labeling, bisexuality is often distorted into being a reason for some other (often undesirable) characteristic, or outright dismissed. This is especially evident in media portrayals, such as in Game of Thrones, where Oberyn Martell’s bisexuality is used to explain his promiscuous nature. Even now, it is not uncommon to receive a response such as “you are just confused” when coming out as a bisexual.  Even though this refrain is also used to diminish the identities of other queer individuals, it is most often used for bisexual people even among the LGBTQ+ community

Such invalidation is a reflection of the exclusion and alienation many bisexual people face, from both within queer communities and without. This alienation from LGBTQ+ spaces often originates from the assumed privileges of bisexual people. They believe that bisexuals are able to enjoy heterosexual privilege and are thus free from the oppression faced by gay communities and individuals. However, this narrative ignores the unique challenges faced by bisexual people. Bisexual people often come across harmful assumptions of bisexual people as promiscuous and invalidation of their sexual identity. 

As a bisexual person, I have experienced this firsthand. When I revealed my bisexual identity to a friend, they dismissed me as “confused about my sexuality.” Moreover, bisexual people still experience legal and social discrimination even if they are in a different-gender relationship. Within heteronormative spaces, bisexuals often experience unwanted questioning and homophobic disgust when they express attraction or are in a relationship with someone of the same gender. When I discussed my crush on a cis-woman, one of my straight acquaintances used “lesbian” as a derogatory term to make fun of me.  In non-queer spaces, I still experience homophobia, but in queer spaces my bisexual identity can mean this is overlooked or not taken seriously.  

Frequent alienation has negative mental health impacts on bisexual people. Only 5% of bisexual youth reported being ‘very happy,’ compared to 21% of non-LGBT+ youth surveyed. For me, I struggled and experienced emotional distress at my highschool in Indiana, where different sexual orientations were not widely accepted by the greater community, and I didn’t feel welcome in queer spaces. 49.7% of bisexual women and 49.5% of bisexual men reported illicit drug use while homosexual and straight individuals reported a lower rate. Bisexual individuals also have higher rates of substance use and abuse than their straight and homosexual peers. 

The erasure of bisexuality leaves an impact beyond the individual level, and it requires communal efforts to validate and celebrate bisexual identity. It can start by recognition of microaggressions towards bisexual people, then progress to active intervention in situations of injustice, and finally advance to advocacy for bisexual visibility and rights. As we celebrate Bisexual Visibility Month in September, I encourage you to take part in this fight for equality, to ensure that bisexual individuals are seen, heard and respected.