***Editor’s Note: This article was published as part of the satirical April 1, 2015

Mindy Midterm is a first-year member of the Wellesley College study team. She started studying in preschool, but just began competing with the Blue this fall. She balances her pre-med coursework with a prospective double major in economics and biochemistry, and, for fun, enjoys visiting her professors during their office hours.

Kat Mallary (K.M.): I know in track there are different events like sprints and hurdles. Does the Wellesley study team also break their competitions into separate events?

Mindy Midterm (M.M.): Yes! My favorite is the study marathon. I was an all-nighter champ at my high school so I’m excited to bring my strengths to Wellesley. Especially because I’m pre-med.

K.M.: How do you balance your pre-med coursework with your time on the team?

M.M.: Work-life balance is important. I heard that once while I was studying. I like to balance my pre-med work with my second major in economics so that I can also go into finance. I’m thinking about Boston Consulting Group (BCG), but maybe Bain. McKinsey is my fallback option. But I’m also pre-med.

K.M.: Aren’t you a first year? Never mind. Studying can be strenuous: do you have any warm- up exercises?

M.M.: I like to start off by studying.

K.M.: But what do you do to warm up before studying?

M.M.: I study. I just wake up studying. It’s really convenient when I wake up having fallen asleep on my textbooks because I can just pick up where I left off.

K.M.: Wow, that doesn’t necessarily seem comfortable.

M.M.: Even falling asleep on your keyboard can be comfortable after a long day of studying. Explaining to your professors why you have QWERTY imprinted backwards across your face is the only uncomfortable part.

K.M.: How has being part of the study team affected your Wellesley experience?

M.M.: It’s given me more motivation to succeed. We’re really like a family. When we see each other. Sometimes it’s hard to see over the top of those cubicles in the Science library.

K.M.: Are you close with your teammates?

M.M.: Absolutely. But the mean grade in 100 and 200 level courses with ten or more students must not be above a B+ or 3.33. Instructors should submit a letter grade for all students listed on the course grade sheet (including students electing the course credit/no credit.)

Kat Mallary ’17 is the Co-Editor-in-Chief of the Wellesley News. She skipped her workout to write this article.