Administration recently announced that class times and schedules will be changing next semester in order to fulfill federal accreditation requirements. Classes will now be five minutes longer, with the lunch break cut short four days out of the week.

Sara Davis ’20, a member of the committee that made the changes, suggested that students see this as a positive change and will take advantage of it in their studies. “When I’m in the dining hall or in my room, I get distracted talking to my friends or thinking about what I’m going to do this weekend. With this extra time in class, I’m really free to think about how deeply inconsequential everything that every single one of us does here is in the grand scheme of life!” Davis said.

With the addition of five minutes to each class, students now have more time to stare at the clock, wondering if any of this is worth it. Many students anticipate each class bringing more interesting time to spend thinking about how fleeting time is and how fragile our perceptions of reality truly are!

Those precious five minutes, which were previously used for such crucial activities as students giving themselves a pep talk in the mirror, contemplating dropping out and shotgunning iced coffee from the machine in Bates, will be sorely missed.

While many students are upset about the lack of transparency from administration, they are sure that the new schedule will be super annoying for everyone involved. While students are glad that Wellesley will remain an accredited university, it raises the question: is it worth it?

Perhaps the new class times will give students the perfect amount of time to form some major feelings of existential dread and, if we’re lucky, a total acceptance that nothing really matters and we’re all going to die anyway.