I hath long known this town has had a rat problem. Yet, lo! I hath oft been occupied with the weighty duties of mine own station, for I am the piper of this village, and must tend to my rank. Though I tarry part time in humble service as a barista, the balance of mine hours are devoted to the pursuit of mine piping, within the fellowship of the queer piping cooperative.

On a fateful day, as I didst return from the shop where beans are brewed, mine ears did catch the whispers of the town council, much troubled by the current state of rat affairs. Knowing well the importance of getting involved with the local politic, I resolved to make my presence known. With heavy breath did I throw open the doors of the council chamber, yet was met with a most grievous scene: the townsfolk sat in solemn silence, their brows furrowed, their minds deep in troubled thought. The sound of mine feet, tapping upon the floor, caused them all to start, their heads snapping upwards, fearful that a rat had intruded upon them.

But nay! ‘Twas not a rat, but merely I, in mine platform loafers. Behold, how skittish they did seem! Perceiving their unease, I did offer to soothe their troubled hearts with a tune, and thus took up mine pipe to play a merry ditty. As the music didst flow forth, lo, did the rats appear, drawn by the strains of mine piping. ‘Twas clear, then, that the rats, those much-maligned creatures, did understand mine artistry far better than these dour townsfolk.

And then did I realize a truth most profound: ‘Twas not the rats who were mine foes, but rather these people, whose minds were closed to the beauty of mine avant-garde and subversive piping. The rats, in their simplicity, saw my genius, and none could deny us that bond. Thus, with my newfound companions, I played as I strode from the council chamber, heedless of the townsfolk’s whispers and glares.

And so what if these creatures, once, in days long past, did bring about a pestilence that claimed the lives of millions? We all, in our time, have erred. The plague was but a misstep, a jest gone too far. And if thou dost ponder deeply, thou wilt see that ’tis hatred, not vermin, that is the true plague upon this land.