Nothing fills me with more joy than walking past the Science Center, through the dusty construction gate, and up the damp stairs to the Modular Classrooms (Mods). The epitome of productivity, the Mods are a haven of nothing. It is so barren that there are records of MAGA using the same space to hold its rallies, creating what people have been saying is “The Most Perfect Echo Chamber.”

The unmatched interior acoustics turn the slightest tiptoe into the big, loud, stompy-stomp of a monster. One time I was in such a rush that I completely forgot to remove my Doc Martens at the door and I sent a librarian into cardiac arrest. The reverb is so intense that seven Berklee and three NEU Tame Impala cover bands have rented our shipping containers for rehearsals. Everyone knows that extreme fight-or-fight responses cause the best academic results and these hallowed halls ensure you are in a constant state of panic.

The interior design, reminiscent of both my middle school hallway and an asylum, transports me back to braces, straight jackets and the transition from Pink to Aerie. Who doesn’t want to relive that? The hours I spend in The Mods are truly the best on this planet, which is why I am petitioning to remodel every single building on campus at the same time, thus making every building a Mod. (Mods now. Mods forever. Mods immortal.) We already have renovations going, so what’s the harm in a few more?

Studies show that productivity skyrockets when a building looks most like a loading dock. Sylvia Plath states that “The Bell Jar” was greatly influenced by her time spent living in a shipping container: “The aluminum spoke to me.”

Taking a page from Sylvia’s book, I propose that we invest in the creativity of Wellesley students by providing them with more colorless walls, more haunting echoes, MORE BOX. I can see the new Academic Quad now! Just Box on Box on Box. Box on box on box. ❒❒❒