In a true display of skill and commitment to their craft, the Tri D’s (DDD) (Dykes Developing Dwellings) has blessed us with a brand new habitat without humanity, just begging for a new society to move in! With only the deed to the land and a Home Depot gift card, they were able to provide lodging for 5 people, 6 if you squeeze. It is now up to you –– our faithful reader –– to choose from these prospective societies. Which org will get to claim the Dyke Den as their own?

• Sigma Alpha Delta (S.A.D.) – Didn’t get into Bama. Didn’t get into TZE. Why are you still here?
• Beta Omega (B.O.) – You stank, girl. The crystal deodorant doesn’t work.
• Gamma Alpha Gamma (G.A.G.) – The BDSM society. But you already knew that.
• Lambda Iota Tau (L.I.T.) – For the thrice-a-week frat frequenters. This is actually just an intervention.
• Alpha Sigma Sigma (A.S.S.) – Pre-med society!
• Nu Omicron Nu Upsilon Tau (N.O.N.U.T.) – Virgins with allergies.
• Epsilon Rho Alpha (E.P.A.) – Contributors to 86% of Wellesley’s plastic waste. The earth won’t last forever, but PFAS will. 🙂