Rebecca is in her third year at Wellesley College. Yeah, she has a major or two… why, what’s it to you? She’s a well-rounded gal with many very normal interests and hobbies, such as crocheting, taking long walks on the beach, and remaining employable despite the digital footprint she’s amassed as Senior Snooze Editor.
Sex and the suburbs columnist Rebecca Birnbach covers icks. "Some are much easier to overlook while others will leave you with an everlasting visceral feeling of repulsion."
The 80’s are back, and I would love to tell you why.
For the past few months, I’ve been quietly keeping predictions to myself, but now I’m breaking my silence as more evidence rolls...
Jan. 20, Wellesley College –– in an innovative move that has other institutions green with envy, Wellesley College has just unveiled its latest contribution to social justice: the Severed Dormitory....
Sex and the Suburbs is a weekly column covering the struggles of Wellesley social life. To submit reader thoughts and comments to our columnist, you can use the following link: https://forms.gle/EyrwCGXidxdhkMuj8
First...
Sex and the Suburbs is a weekly column covering the struggles of Wellesley social life. To submit reader thoughts and comments to our columnist, you can use the following link: https://forms.gle/EyrwCGXidxdhkMuj8
Nothing...
Oh, Singh’s Cafe, a gem so bright,
Your speedy delivery fills me with delight.
Your humble walls, with warmth embrace me,
As I inhale the sweet scents of a mango lassi.
From spicy curries,...
Wellesley News: It’s no secret that Wellesley’s social life is not what it once was.
Wellesley Snooze: Coke used to be much easier to get.
WN: Wellesley used to have more spaces for students...
Performance Nutrition for Athletes: Similarities in Diet Across Sports Teams - Blonde ‘28
I swear she does this every year - Kind-hearted Individual ‘26
Next year we should really specify...
Hey, you look lost, are you new here? What’s your name?
Barron Trump, you said? Son of Donald Trump, you said? Who’s that? Is he a big deal or something? Well anyway, nice to meet you too!
How...
In our adolescence, we’re taught to listen and respect our elders. But your elders are most likely jealous haters. Wanna know how I know why? Because they lie to your pretty little face. Oh yeah, if...
Here at Wellesley, we tend to focus on the big picture. That’s great and all, we have quite a few major and systemic issues on campus. But the thing is, those big things often take up a majority of our...
Until recently, I’ve always really struggled in academic settings. I overheard my dad telling my mom that he thinks I’ll turn out more street-smart. I think that might be because I hated school so...
Stop applying to my UROP, I will never endorse you on Linkedin.
- Dr., Astronaut, Bridgit Mendler Esq. on Wellesley students.
.
The truth is, I’m just in the studio working hard on my upcoming...
YE OLDE WELLESLEY SNOOZE
Dearest Wendy,Gertrude Fitzpootrick stole yet another one of my figgy puddings from the communal pantry. I know it was her because she’s always up in that icebox eating my...
YE OLDE WELLESLEY SNOOZE
Little white rabbit seen hopping through Sev Green!!
Next Tuesday there will be a ballot distributed by the College Government, the measures include:
- Hoops, for rolling or...
After multiple sit-ins, walkouts, rallies and over 60 protester arrests, Brown University students are demonstrating their commitment to the university's divestment “from all companies perpetuating and...
What Wellesley students really want...
Hello loyal Snooze readers! As we enter reading period, we know that you and your fellow sibs are growing desperate, scrambling to get your grades up, settling...
The news-worthy question on everyone’s mind: who will host Wellesley Drag next semester with Bimbo Babka, Drag’s founding host, escaping to Berlin? As an investigative journalist, I have made it my...
As the holiday season slowly creeps up on us, don’t put off getting gifts for that special little chap in your life. Here are our suggestions!
- A brand new scally cap!
His current one is so last season...
The last two weeks have been an aggressive slap in the face. A wakeup call that something needs to change. A week of midterms which could only be described as soul crushing. A Thanksgiving break where...
Following the box office success of Barbie and Universal Studios' strategic acquisition of intellectual property rights to Mario, Five Nights at Freddy's, Hot Wheels, Sonic the Hedgehog, and other beloved...
Sure, we all love the super ripped firefighters who come to Tower when a first-year microwaves a raw egg for 15 minutes and the fearless EMTs who drag them out kicking and screaming after they've had two...
My manager first got the TikTok DM from Dear Hannah Prep's team while she was making me and my little sister scrambled egg whites before our biweekly homeschool. She ordinarily doesn't let us go shopping...
Forbes defines "Girl Math" as "an invented set of rules that women supposedly keep to when justifying impulse spending." But "Boy Math is all about nonsensical rules" specifically focused on "general hypocrisy...
Finding a student to be underpaid and under thanked can be hard. Let us help you out!
10. You! (Please.)
9. SPOG Frog
8. Blue Burberry Bag Girl (she needs to practice tracking expenses)
7. Spooky Statue...
*This is an article from the humor section, not real news.*
Track List:
Under the CITGO Sign Over Fenway
The Orange Line Never Came ft. Dropkick Murphys
Grandfathah Please Stand On the Celtics...
*This is an article from the humor section, not real news.*
In Case You Missed ‘Em…
Here are the top ten previously banned or canceled clubs and societies that made their exciting return to campus...
1. Pussy hats
They are objectively stupid and hideous.
2. Baby showers
The kid’s not even fucking born yet, why do they need a party?
3. When I thought I could carry my heavy ass package...
Over the course of the past few weeks, Tower Court residents have engaged in slightly more debauchery than usual. As such, the Tower House President has needed to send an influx of emails to curb the recent...
On Dec. 19, New York Magazine published a cover-to-cover exposé analyzing and critiquing Hollywood's nepo-baby boom, dubbing 2022 "The Year of the Nepo Baby." However, although this problem might be most...
On Feb. 20, Wellesley College students celebrated their sixth annual “Almost Presidents Day.” Students took part in traditional mourning ceremonies as well as celebrations to honor Wellesley College’s...
Since our institution's founding in 1870, many influential intellectuals have walked our hallowed halls. Yet, all pale in comparison to our most acclaimed alumna: Isis Gaston – professionally known as...
Carrie, you’re killing me here.
What? You don’t like my song?
The chorus is a written confession.
No! Absolutely not, it’s a heartfelt commentary on —
And I quote, “I dug...
Fuzzy socks for those chilly New England winters
Who doesn’t love cozy socks?
More students paying full tuition
The backbone of our glorious institution.
A Bop-It!™
This...
1. Memorial Day
In memoriam of when the Snooze was actually funny.
2. Italian’s People Day
We love our local Wellesley pizzarias. (Italians are people too!)
3. Wet T-Shirt Wednesday
You know the...
Lena Dunham
Loud, white liberal with a pixie cut
Megan Rapinoe (ibid)
We know you’re mad about this, but it’s true
Eve (from the Bible, not WALL-E)
Had hella plants, but...
Here at Wellesley, we seemingly have a club or organization for every interest, hobby, or background, which is why Molly "Chrysanthemum" Smith, '24, felt the need to found the Wellesley Witchcraft Society...
In light of the news about Munger Hall's very own poop bandit leaving some surprises in the first floor and basement communal trash bins, we here at the Snooze felt the necessity to inform the general...
The transition to college is hard, whether you’re struggling making friends, navigating the campus or just adjusting to this new chapter of your life. I get it, and as a super cool and informed first-year...
