Top 10 Girlbosses who aren’t alumnae, but I would totally believe you if you told me they were

Rebecca Birnbach | November 18, 2022

Lena Dunham
1. Loud, white liberal with a pixie cut
2. Megan Rapinoe (ibid)
3. We know you’re mad about this, but it’s true
Eve (from the Bible, not WALL-E)
1. Had hella plants, but abandoned them
Little Bo-Peep (from Disney/Pixar’s 1995 Toy Story)
1. So coquette!
Cruella De Vil
1. Dyed hair with a quasi mullet, thinks she’s gonna get all the bitches
Rapunzel
1. Got the Wellesley chop
Dolores Umbridge
1. She rocks a pants suit
2. Took over the whole-ass ministry of magic #slay
Amelia Earhart
1. Idk why, but it just feels right
2. Would prob get lost trying to catch the commuter rail
Mindy Kaling
1. This isn’t a joke lol, I actually did think she went here
Lin Manuel Miranda
1. Oh wait, never mind, that’s Wesleyan
That one dumbass in my math class’ mom
1. She has to have been a legacy admit