Many of you applying to Wellesley remember the iconic “Wellesley 100” question, a list full of things that make Wellesley unique and things that admin has since got rid of but still wants to advertise. Well, following the SCOTUS decision of 2023 banning race-conscious affirmative action, Wellesley admin decided to change the application question to one about how prospective students interact with diverse populations. Clearly, it worked about as well as you’d expect, with incoming classes becoming increasingly homogenous, losing the diversity that makes the Wellesley community unique. 

Many students want the Wellesley 100 question back, arguing that it helps attract students to Wellesley specifically, setting the school apart from other schools with very general application questions. Plus, it’s not like the diversity question is actually helping to make Wellesley diverse. Consider this author officially pleading to bring back the Wellesley 100 and to make an actual effort to make Wellesley accessible to first gen, low income and POC students beyond just an application question, Trump’s DEI ban be damned. 

While we’re at it, we might as well update the Wellesley 100 too. After all, just because you love a place doesn’t mean you can be critical of its shortcomings. So let’s talk about the things nowadays that make Wellesley truly great. Presenting the new, official, Snooze-approved Wellesley 100:

1. Not having something sexy to say when you get called up at drag
2. The mods
3. Whatever the hell they did to my girl Claf basement
4. Trying to get a table in Lulu between the hours of 5 and 8pm 
5. No bags no bottles 
6. That “grand staircase” in Clapp
7. The friendly colony of bacteria at the bottom of every communal kitchen sink 
8. Post-snow nefarious gray slush 
9. Accidentally using your Ozzi box coin as a Loco token 
10. 3.5 hour chem labs and their cultural impact
11. Midterms happening more than just at the mid of term 
12. SOFC Annual Budget Applications
13. Getting prescribed Lexapro by the Stone Center
14. Societies pretending like they do anything 
15. Geese poop 
16. The Sidechat posts of a first-year who didn’t get an internship
17. That one person on your floor who doesn’t wash their hands after the bathroom
18. Seeing a Prince Andrew lookalike in the gym
19. Campus water having the taste 
20. An afternoon housing slot 
21. Seeing a campus boyfriend roaming around without his owner 
22. The Yoga for Stress Relief waitlist 
23. The hill up to the quint 
24. The hill up to Munger 
25. The hill up to Stone D
26. The hill up to Tower Court 
27. The little hill up to Bates 
28. The humiliation ritual that is receiving a Tupelos Singing Valentine  
29. Fish Fridays
30. The wears-to-wash ratio of the SBOG frog costume 
31. Not being able to use flex points at Cafe Hoop
32. A sophomore trying to room in Sev or Claf 
33. Breakfast in Tower on days without Greek yogurt
34. Work-study job applications 
35. Every non-STEM major fighting over GEOS102 spots 
36. Not being able to have an affair with a professor because of woke
37. Hearing a tour guide lie 
38. The gaggle of Playboy Bunnies on the Loco to MIT Halloween Frat parties every October 
39. Someone’s playing in the bell tower, but they’re not that good
40. Stone D truthers living off of chickpeas and nachos 
41. Timed closed-note take-home exams 
42. Gcals with no white space left
43. Days when the only ice cream flavors are vanilla, strawberry, rainbow sherbet, and lemon sorbet 
44. Seeing what tomfoolery the SHEs are up to now 
45. Realizing your romantic interest is your ex’s ex
46. Being the upperclassman approached for a hit of the bong by a first-year at steps
47. Dining hall tea shortage 
48. Nightly CE emails (no, I’m not going)
49. The one white goose (NO, it’s not a swan)
50. Leftover HoCo cookies going stale every week
51. STEM majors with the whole Apple ecosystem 
52. Accidentally airdropping your pset to the wrong ipad
53. English majors that can’t read
54. Becoming friends with the ESA on your floor but not its owner
55. The Doc Marten brigade walking to class on a rainy day 
56. Duck Day being Lake Day’s ugly spring sibling
57. Getting a noise complaint at 10:04pm on a Thursday
58. Dhall mice
59. Finding your wet laundry marinating on the floor 2 minutes after the cycle finished
60. Hearing your neighbor and her MIT boy-toy going at it 
61. Having to finish the major you picked
62. The KSC on the first days of the semester
63. When everyone needs an extension so the deadline just changes 
64. Running into sophomores at Total Wine
65. Societies trying to convince real Greek life to hop on the loco and come to White Party
66. Food truck lines on LDOC
67. Cupcakke’s 20 minute set here in 2024 when she refused to play LGBT
68. Admin gatekeeping the tunnels (what if I LIKE asbestos??)
69. Hilary Rodham Clinton, ’69
70. The feeling of overwhelming nausea as soon as you step onto the loco 
71. Taking three tries to open your mailbox 
72. The Boylston Street Trader Joe’s getting lots of Wellesley action
73. Too many damn acronyms 
74. Overalls
75. Wellesley Career Ed Weekly Digest 
76. Seeing your lab partner in full lingerie at Rocky Horror 
77. Someone hitting reply all to a res life email with a stupid question 
78. A clearly lost visiting family raw-dogging a DIY campus tour with nothing but a campus map and a dream
79. The Wellesley Nordic ski team gobbling up the whole SOFC budget
80. The office of LGBTQ+ life having to pretend like this school isn’t just one big GSA
81. Gladiator battles, aka registration
82. Buying a textbook for a class only to realize the prof doesn’t even use it 
83. That one busy person listing all the things they have to do for clout
84. A cockroach eating a fallen piece of lasagna in the corner of the Tower dining hall
85. A sad, lost she/her pronoun pin sitting in the dirt
86. The Wellesley Parents Facebook page
87. The “S” in SBOG not standing for student
88. Construction
89. Going all-out for a theme party then discovering everyone just wore a normal going out top
90. A random old person on a walk catching you smoking
91. That one weekend every fall when the first years discover the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum
92. The Instagram stories of your classmate who just went to the MFA
93. All the official merch being medium ugly
94. Wellesley being super inaccessible no matter what ADR tries to get you to believe
95. The humiliation of tabling at the Lulu entrance 
96. Finding out the salaries of the highest up administrators 
97. The haircut difference on One Card photos versus present day
98. The Bates turkeys getting bolder and bolder each year
99. Getting any email from admin 
100. The $100,000 cost of attendance