Hi neighbor! It’s me:) The person who lives above you! I’ve heard you’ve been complaining about my way of life, so I wanted to outline it for you in excruciating detail to give you an idea of what my day looks like. Please do not disturb any of my activities. My peace and quiet are precious! 

6:30 AM: Wake up to The Phantom of the Opera on my Clocky XTRA Loud Roll-away alarm clock. After the first 10 seconds the alarm cycles through Jersey Club Remixes. 

6:45 AM: Jump out of my fully lofted bed and knock over my Stanley. Knock over my desk. Knock over my phone. Knock over my lamp. 

7:00 AM: Scream 

7:05 AM: Use my portable blender to make my morning shake with Cookie Brookie Blast TikTok Shop Protein Powder (FDA approval pending)

7:10 AM: Jump-rope workout 

7:25 AM: Get dressed and explore the hallway. Sniff the wallpaper. 

7:45 AM: Rearrange my entire room 

8:15 AM: Leave for class 🙂

8:17 AM: Run back inside, I forgot my bag 

8:18 AM: Leave for class 🙂 

8:20 AM: Run back inside, I forgot my phone. 

8:25 AM: I can’t find my phone. Move all of my furniture. 

8:28 AM: It was in my pocket! Leave for class 🙂 

… Class … 

11:30 AM: First classes done! Mid-day nap. 

11:35 AM: I can’t fall asleep. Maybe I have too much energy? 

11:40 AM: 10 Minute Chloe Ting ab workout, incorporate anvil. Max volume. Max Effort. 

11:50 AM: Rearrange my entire room 

12:05 PM: Back to class! 🙂

… Class… 

6:00 PM: Studying via my Active Mind Active Body Workout Regimen (PSets and Pull-Ups and Party Rock Anthem!) 

… Party Rock Anthem… 

8:00 PM: Rearrange my entire room 

8:15 PM: Phone sex with a senior on sidechat.

8:30 PM: Get ready to shower! 

8:32 PM: All of my command hooks come crashing down 

8:45 PM: Shower & Celine Dion Karaoke 

9:00 PM: Rearrange my entire room 

9:30 PM: Learn to line dance 

10:30 PM: Scream again. And again. And again. And again. I’m not sleepy yet. I’m gonna scream again, okay?

11:00 PM: Sleeping!

… honk shoooo mimimimimi … 

3:00 AM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Night Terrors) 

3:15 AM: Rearrange my entire room (sleepwalking) 

3:35 AM: Stomp 

4:00 AM: Sleep fr 

… asleep … 

And suddenly it’s 6:30 again 🙂 

So… now that you’re aware of my schedule, I need you to adjust accordingly. Your little “getting ready” routine is really disruptive. I, your darling lady-of-the-upper-level, am the victim here; I deal with so much backlash for literally just existing. Have you ever considered turning off your radiator? I know it’s basically winter, but the sound is really distracting. Think about that disturbance for a change. 

XOXO, 

The moral high ground (by one floor)